From Grindr to Scruff: The best dating apps for gay, bi, and queer men

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Despite its name, Scruff isn't just for scruffy men. There are plenty of gay guys here, from clean-cut jocks to those with a more rugged look. Whether you're into bears, twinks, otters, or any other type of guy, Scruff has a diverse user base that's large enough to rival Grindr's.

The only difference? Scruff is a little more serious in terms of what people are looking for. Sure, it's good for hookups, but you probably won't get the same level of raunchiness (or as much) as you would on Grindr.

If Grindr is the chaotic gay bar where anything can happen, Scruff is the slightly more upscale lounge next door. We picked it because it’s a great alternative for guys who find Grindr's culture exhausting and want an app that grows with them. While you can definitely find a quick connection, Scruff has a well-earned reputation for attracting a more mature crowd that’s open to actual dating.

Scruff is also more than just a grid of faces. Its "Venture" feature (similar to Grindr's "Roam" feature) lets you connect with guys in other cities before you travel, and its events section helps you find local LGBTQ+ parties and gatherings. While many advanced features, like the ability to un-send messages and unlimited looks, require a paid membership (which starts around $16.99 per month), the app feels more like a community than just a dating app.

But what truly makes Scruff stand out is its commitment to creating a more inclusive and respectful space. A point powerfully made by Dylan Thomas Cotter, a publicist, author, and transgender rights activist, shared his success story on Scruff with us. As a gay trans man, he initially found the dating pool challenging. He proactively became a Scruff brand ambassador to boost his visibility and find his "Prince Charming" (which he did!).

"I am very grateful to Scruff for building an inclusive, safe, and welcoming platform that became a success story on my end as a gay transgender man," Cotter tells Mashable. Scruff “has been substantially more inclusive of trans people and overall has excelled in the body positivity department” compared to what he describes as the “substantially superficial, less respectful of trans people” user base on Grindr.

He also offers a key safety tip for all dating app users: “I would suggest turning off your exact location on grid coordinates because an inference of proximity can possibly still be made and potentially place users' privacy at risk.”

Owned by Match Group, Archer is a "social-first" dating app that prioritizes building meaningful connections through shared interests and values. It's positioned as the relationship-focused alternative to hookup-heavy hitters like Grindr, targeting Gen Z and Millennial guys looking for something more substantial.

It's the best dating app option for bisexual and queer men who are looking for more than just casual encounters and offers a safer space to explore their sexuality and talk about HIV status. (But don't just take our word for it; Brooklyn's resident bi-man and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, Zachary Zane, recommends giving Archer a try for its inclusive and relationship-oriented approach.)

Although still newer than legacy apps, Archer has firmly cemented its place as the go-to app for queer men looking for something more substantial. Unlike its NSFW competitor Grindr, Archer requires every profile to show a face, underscoring its mission to create a more respectful space for connection. As Archer's marketing lead, Michael Kaye, says, the app is about "celebration and showing your truest self."

The app's first annual "The Naked Truth" report proves this isn't just marketing speak. It found that users are nearly six times more likely to be looking for a husband than a hookup. To meet that need, Archer rolled out its "Looking For Modes" feature, which lets you toggle between "Hookup," "Date," or "Friends" mode each time you open the app. This way, you're only connecting with people who want the same thing you do in that moment.

And to help you get the conversation started, Archer recently rolled out "Ice Breakers." This new feature lets you add fun, flirty, or even cleverly "unhinged" questions to your profile (kind of like Hinge prompts) that potential matches can answer to kickstart a more engaging chat. Examples include "Describe your favorite sex position using only emojis" and "If you had to lip-sync for your life, which song would you choose?"

If you want more, there's Archer Gold, a premium subscription option. This paid tier unlocks several features such as "Private Mode" (to browse incognito), "Teleport Mode" (to change your location and explore profiles elsewhere), and advanced filters for more targeted searches. You'll also get read receipts on messages, the ability to see who's viewed or "liked" your profile, and a daily allowance of DMs you can send before matching.

Bonus: Its in-app Health Hub provides easy-to-access resources and education on STIs, PrEP, and other essential topics.

Sniffies is a map-based meetup site for gay and bi cruisers who are looking to add a little fun to their day. This site isn't for finding a relationship; it's for men seeking men who are interested in casual encounters and spontaneous meetups.

Tinder and Grindr aren't the only ways to get laid in the gay community. For men looking for casual, anonymous, and raunchy encounters without the pretense of "dating," there's Sniffies — a platform so direct that, even Zane has noted, you're more likely to get a message like "Chilling. Here, just trying to get fisted" than a vanilla DM.

Its primary home is the website, Sniffies.com, which the company emphasizes remains fully operational and uncensored. After launching an iOS app in March 2025, Apple removed it in May, citing "ongoing content restrictions." Sniffies called it a "temporary setback," arguing that apps like Tinder and Grindr promote the same casual meetups "under a more sanitized 'dating' pretense." If you were lucky enough to download the iOS app before its removal, it should still work, but for everyone else, the website is the place to be.

"Our iOS app was designed with safeguards to comply with App Store guidelines," the company said in a press release. "We blurred explicit content by default, respected user discretion, and prioritized autonomy and privacy. Despite these efforts, our app was removed, while apps like Tinder, Grindr, Pure, DOWN, and CasualX, which promote the same casual meetups under a more sanitized 'dating' pretense, remain live."

Despite this app store hiccup, Sniffies' core appeal and functionality via its website are unchanged. Its map-based interface shows you who is nearby and looking for action right now. To narrow your search, you can use the "Cruiser Filters" to sort by age, body type, endowment size, and even preferred sexual positions. It's free to use, but a premium membership will get you extra features like unlimited messaging and advanced search options. Some safety features, like cruising spots, are also in place, so you don't have to meet up somewhere private with a stranger you don't know.

Read our full review of OkCupid.

OkCupid's slogan is "Dating deserves better," and they're damn right — especially for the gays and the theys. Though it's open to straight people too, the veteran dating site has shed the heteronormativity that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. It's a hip, well-informed space that maintains a more intentional atmosphere than quick-hit apps like Grindr or Tinder.

OkCupid has long been a pioneer in inclusivity, but it continues to evolve beyond just its impressive list of over 60 gender and orientation options. The app uses its famous question-matching system to filter for what really matters to queer daters. This focus on shared values helps you find someone you'll not only have chemistry with but also see eye-to-eye with on the issues that count.

OkCupid didn't just get a facelift during its last redesign — our team actually had fun swiping on the revamped app. Plus, OkCupid's focus on encouraging users to share their perspectives on social and political issues feels practical in this day and age.

The app's filters let you find guys who share your views on everything from gun control to vaccines, so you can bypass awkward first-date debates. You can also search for same-sex matches and filter by specific interests, making it easier to find guys who share your interests and passions. Plus, you can use these filters on the free version (which can't be said for similar features on other dating apps).

It's not all about the thirst traps here, either. OkCupid's profile features let you showcase your personality (not just your looks). Whether you're into gaming, activism, or obsessing over the latest drag queens, there's room to find your person or community on OKC. You might find a smaller pool of folks than you would on Grindr or Tinder, but it's a good place to go if you're looking to make a longer-term connection and are focused on quality over quantity.

Read our review of Tinder Platinum.

Of the 75 million people who actively use Tinder each month, not all are straight dudes holding up fish. Queer and trans folks head to Tinder because its dating pool is colossal — almost as colossal as queer people's collective yearning for authentic connection (real).

Tinder is the OG swiping app. It revolutionized the world of online dating and now there are billions of users swiping left and right each day. You'll probably see your neighbor or even someone you work with on the app. (Awkward! Predictable!) However, if you've exhausted your chances with all of the queer people you know in real life, this is probably where you can find the highest number of gay locals — especially in smaller towns.

We couldn't not include Tinder on this list. While it's not a dedicated LGBTQ+ app, Tinder has made notable efforts to be more inclusive (40+ gender options and personalized swiping) and is actively launching features that offer more than its hookup reputation would suggest.

Its latest feature, "Double Date," launched in June 2025, is just one example of how Tinder's moving forward. This mode lets you and a friend pair up to match with other duos, turning the often-isolating experience of swiping into a more fun, low-pressure social activity. It’s a direct appeal to Gen Z, who make up over half of Tinder's users and often treat dating as a team sport.

This adds to other features that give you more control over your experience. For example, the Relationship Goals feature lets you display a badge on your profile (think: "Long-term," "Casual," or "New friends") to set clear intentions from the start. On the safety and features front, Tinder has tools to curb inappropriate messages with in-app warnings (and potential bans for repeat offenders). There are also ID verification options and an AI-powered "Photo Selector" designed to help you pick profile pics more likely to get right swipes. (Though we're not entirely sure how safe it is.)

While it may not have the same massive scale as Grindr, Jack’d has carved out a space for itself by being, in the words of Marketing Director Camilo Restrepo, "the most diverse community for gay, bi, trans, and queer people." This isn't just a talking point; for many queer men of color who feel overlooked on other apps (we know Grindr has had its share of issues with race-related discrimination), Jack'd is the default choice.

"At Jack’d, diversity isn’t just a buzzword — it’s our foundation," Restrepo tells So.Gay. He explains that the app's strong connection with queer Black users comes from actively supporting and promoting community initiatives (like Pride celebrations, non-profits, etc.).

We chose Jack’d because it intentionally cultivates one of the most diverse communities in gay dating, making it a standout alternative for queer men of color. While other apps have struggled with inclusivity, Jack’d has made it its "foundation," creating a more welcoming space where BIPOC users are prioritized, not tokenized. According to a Reddit thread, it’s the place to be if you’re “into black, Latino, and Asian dudes.”

This focus on community provides a different, and often safer-feeling, user experience. The free version lets you search for other users by specific hashtags (like #daddy, #twink, #bear), making it easier to find your niche. A Pro subscription will get you unlimited private albums, the ability to unsend messages, ad-free browsing, and other perks.

There are fewer users on Jack'd compared to the bigger apps, so your experience will vary depending on where you live. If you’re in a big city, you'll likely find a decent pool of potential matches on Jack'd.

We think Reddit said it best: “Think of Jack'd as that one gay bar across town that's not in the main gay neighborhood and is open to everybody but preferred by people of color.”

As the name implies, GROWLR is a gay dating app for bears and bear lovers. Although not as popular as Grindr or Scruff, GROWLR provides a niche platform for men interested in bear culture.

It also has more than 10 million users, so you're bound to find someone to roughhouse with or snuggle up to.

Most dating apps are superficial and focus on appearance, but GROWLR is for bears who appreciate a more rugged and traditionally masculine aesthetic. That's not to say you can't find other types of guys on GROWLR, but it definitely caters to a specific subset of the gay community.

GROWLR offers live streaming, a unique feature most dating apps don't offer (and you can use this feature for free). The app also has some paid features, like SHOUT!, which allows you to send customized messages to multiple users in one go. (The app also says you can promote your business via this feature, but that seems kind of cringe on a dating app.)

The only thing we'd like to mention is that the GROWLR interface is super dated, and thus not as user-friendly as the other apps on this list. But if you're looking for a community of hot, hairy men, GROWLR is definitely worth checking out.